Mike - Forever With Love - You Are Missed and Loved and Never Forgotten

In Loving Memory of:

 ~ Mike Castle ~

March 9, 1968 to December 9, 2009

CASTLE, Michael F. II March 9, 1968 December 9, 2009 41, of St. Petersburg, passed at home with his children by his side. Survived by his 3 children Blaine, Brittany, Danielle; his mother Anne Castle of Sharon, PA; 2 brothers, Jayson, and Rod Castle; 2 sisters, Tiffany of St. Petersburg and Emily Castle of Post Falls, ID. He was preceded in death by his father Michael Castle and fiancée Celeste Sassaman. Services Wednesday Dec. 16 at R. Lee Williams & Son, 3530 49th St. N, from 4 until 7 pm.

As many of you know, Eric and I lost a very close friend this past week, and are absolutely shocked and devastated.  We haven't quite been able to "wrap our heads" around the fact that Mike is gone.  How can that be?  It just doesn't make sense to us, or maybe we just don't want it to make sense because that would make it real.  While the details of his death are still under investigation and unclear at this point there are several heart breaking things that make the loss of a great friend and a good man even worse.

Mike has 3 children, ages 10, 13 and 21 and a 1 year old grandson, and this man truly loves and adores his kids and I've ever seen 3 kids, with different ages and gender, adore their Father more than Mike's kids do.  The fact that he has 3 kids that will have to find a way to make their life without their Dad is hard enough, but these kids also lost their Mother 4 years ago.  I can't imagine being 10,13 or 21 and within a 4 year time span losing both my parents- yet I know that all 3 kids will make it.  It'll be a long road but their Daddy is a strong man with a huge heart and he taught all 3 of them to love and love and love but to also be as strong as possible.  There's so many unknowns regarding the kids right now that all you can do is feel helpless and wait to see what happens, for reasons that aren't mine to go into detail about at this time.

I can;t help wonder who should raise these children that have been so shattered by death that it will absolutely effect them everyday for the rest of their lives.  Are Eric and I up to the task?  Morally, do we have any other option if it comes down to it?  We both adore these kids, Eric has known Mike sense before Blayne was born and was there when both Blayne and Pika were born.  How do we not feel obligated to be in their lives and watch over, protect and guide them as much as we can?   

Who will walk the 2 girls down the isle?  Who's going to take Blayne out on the boat he and Mike built together?  It seems like such a senseless loss, why Mike, why now?  Why take both Mike and Celeste in a matter of years? 

Mike was a stationary in Eric and I's life together, and ironically, both of us were friends with Mike before we knew each other.  The day after Eric and I met Mike was there, the first week we were dating we went to Mike's house, when we lost the baby in 2005, Mike was there with open arms and ears.  When Mike lost Celeste, we were there for him and the kids, and have spent an endless amount of hours listening and consuling and trying to provide a 'Mother Figure" role for Pika esspecially as much as possible.  Mike was always worried about that- h e didn't want her to lose out on all the special Mother/Daughter events in life.  I know it made him happy to see Pika and I bond so much.

I have a story about Mike *and Eric* that still makes me smile whenever I think about it or tell it.  Not too long after Eric and I started dating in April 2003 I went out to a jobsite that Mike and Eric were working on to bring them supplies and lunch.  It happened to be a job I sold so I was going out there anyway and as I pulled onto the street I see Mike laying out in the front yard of my customer's home,  on a piece of ductboard!  Ductboard!  I of course thought is he crazy?  That stuff is itchy,itchy, itchy and why would you lay out in the yard anyway?  I then realized that my new love, Eric of course, was also stretched out in the lawn, but not on ductboard of course.  I instantly asked what are you two doing and Mike,why are you laying on ductboard?  His response was so simple yet something that most of us don't take time to do for ourselves.  He said, Randa if you don't stop every once in a while and just enjoy right now, this moment, and just talk with your friends, what the hell is the point? 

Very well put and it makes me wonder, what is the point?  But, never have I stopped laughing at the image of Mike laying on a sheet of ductboard i the middle of the lawn!  But that's Mike. 

Mike-
We will miss you  so much, we already do.  There's a void in my heart  and I just keep waiting for you to call and say just messing with you, but I know that's not the case.  I hope you know and always knew how much you are loved by us.  The 3 of us together have been through so much together, since day 1, it seems impossible for you not to be here. I wish I could change all of this, just like I wanted so much to change the loss of Celeste.  You'll forever be in my heart, giving poor 17 year old Randa a hard time the entire way to the fairgrounds and laying on your ductboard! And baby, I hope you have found yourself the biggest piece of ductboard yet and are enjoying the moments, taking your naps and watching over all of us.  We love you- Eric is mourning you more than I thought imaginable, I cry just thinking about not being able to show up at your door at anytime, come in and hang out on the couch for a while.  You created incredible, beautiful children Mike and the things you taught them will stay with them forever.  The things you taught me will stay with me forever, you will stay in Eric and I's hearts forever.

You truly are an incredible man with the biggest heart I've ever seen.  I'll do anything for your kids, just give us some signs along the way.  I imagine your smile is back with Celeste now at your side, and that is the only thing that comforts me, your with the women your meant to be with again.  We will always have you in our hearts and think of you and the memories are endless- when you have your closure and know things will be ok, not as good as if you were here, but ok, find a way to let Eric know that your ok and comfort him, he's so lost without you right now- just at the thought of you not being here. I know you'll find a way to let the kids know- esspecially Blayne, because you two have that kind of bond. 

We love you Mike, we miss you and are grateful for the time we had with you. 

Forever with Love,

Eric and Randa