Mike - Forever With Love - You Are Missed and Loved and Never Forgotten

In Loving Memory of:

 ~ Mike Castle ~

March 9, 1968 to December 9, 2009

CASTLE, Michael F. II March 9, 1968 December 9, 2009 41, of St. Petersburg, passed at home with his children by his side. Survived by his 3 children Blaine, Brittany, Danielle; his mother Anne Castle of Sharon, PA; 2 brothers, Jayson, and Rod Castle; 2 sisters, Tiffany of St. Petersburg and Emily Castle of Post Falls, ID. He was preceded in death by his father Michael Castle and fiancée Celeste Sassaman. Services Wednesday Dec. 16 at R. Lee Williams & Son, 3530 49th St. N, from 4 until 7 pm.

As many of you know, Eric and I lost a very close friend this past week, and are absolutely shocked and devastated.  We haven't quite been able to "wrap our heads" around the fact that Mike is gone.  How can that be?  It just doesn't make sense to us, or maybe we just don't want it to make sense because that would make it real.  While the details of his death are still under investigation and unclear at this point there are several heart breaking things that make the loss of a great friend and a good man even worse.

Mike has 3 children, ages 10, 13 and 21 and a 1 year old grandson, and this man truly loves and adores his kids and I've ever seen 3 kids, with different ages and gender, adore their Father more than Mike's kids do.  The fact that he has 3 kids that will have to find a way to make their life without their Dad is hard enough, but these kids also lost their Mother 4 years ago.  I can't imagine being 10,13 or 21 and within a 4 year time span losing both my parents- yet I know that all 3 kids will make it.  It'll be a long road but their Daddy is a strong man with a huge heart and he taught all 3 of them to love and love and love but to also be as strong as possible.  There's so many unknowns regarding the kids right now that all you can do is feel helpless and wait to see what happens, for reasons that aren't mine to go into detail about at this time.

I can;t help wonder who should raise these children that have been so shattered by death that it will absolutely effect them everyday for the rest of their lives.  Are Eric and I up to the task?  Morally, do we have any other option if it comes down to it?  We both adore these kids, Eric has known Mike sense before Blayne was born and was there when both Blayne and Pika were born.  How do we not feel obligated to be in their lives and watch over, protect and guide them as much as we can?   

Who will walk the 2 girls down the isle?  Who's going to take Blayne out on the boat he and Mike built together?  It seems like such a senseless loss, why Mike, why now?  Why take both Mike and Celeste in a matter of years? 

Mike was a stationary in Eric and I's life together, and ironically, both of us were friends with Mike before we knew each other.  The day after Eric and I met Mike was there, the first week we were dating we went to Mike's house, when we lost the baby in 2005, Mike was there with open arms and ears.  When Mike lost Celeste, we were there for him and the kids, and have spent an endless amount of hours listening and consuling and trying to provide a 'Mother Figure" role for Pika esspecially as much as possible.  Mike was always worried about that- h e didn't want her to lose out on all the special Mother/Daughter events in life.  I know it made him happy to see Pika and I bond so much.

I have a story about Mike *and Eric* that still makes me smile whenever I think about it or tell it.  Not too long after Eric and I started dating in April 2003 I went out to a jobsite that Mike and Eric were working on to bring them supplies and lunch.  It happened to be a job I sold so I was going out there anyway and as I pulled onto the street I see Mike laying out in the front yard of my customer's home,  on a piece of ductboard!  Ductboard!  I of course thought is he crazy?  That stuff is itchy,itchy, itchy and why would you lay out in the yard anyway?  I then realized that my new love, Eric of course, was also stretched out in the lawn, but not on ductboard of course.  I instantly asked what are you two doing and Mike,why are you laying on ductboard?  His response was so simple yet something that most of us don't take time to do for ourselves.  He said, Randa if you don't stop every once in a while and just enjoy right now, this moment, and just talk with your friends, what the hell is the point? 

Very well put and it makes me wonder, what is the point?  But, never have I stopped laughing at the image of Mike laying on a sheet of ductboard i the middle of the lawn!  But that's Mike. 

Mike-
We will miss you  so much, we already do.  There's a void in my heart  and I just keep waiting for you to call and say just messing with you, but I know that's not the case.  I hope you know and always knew how much you are loved by us.  The 3 of us together have been through so much together, since day 1, it seems impossible for you not to be here. I wish I could change all of this, just like I wanted so much to change the loss of Celeste.  You'll forever be in my heart, giving poor 17 year old Randa a hard time the entire way to the fairgrounds and laying on your ductboard! And baby, I hope you have found yourself the biggest piece of ductboard yet and are enjoying the moments, taking your naps and watching over all of us.  We love you- Eric is mourning you more than I thought imaginable, I cry just thinking about not being able to show up at your door at anytime, come in and hang out on the couch for a while.  You created incredible, beautiful children Mike and the things you taught them will stay with them forever.  The things you taught me will stay with me forever, you will stay in Eric and I's hearts forever.

You truly are an incredible man with the biggest heart I've ever seen.  I'll do anything for your kids, just give us some signs along the way.  I imagine your smile is back with Celeste now at your side, and that is the only thing that comforts me, your with the women your meant to be with again.  We will always have you in our hearts and think of you and the memories are endless- when you have your closure and know things will be ok, not as good as if you were here, but ok, find a way to let Eric know that your ok and comfort him, he's so lost without you right now- just at the thought of you not being here. I know you'll find a way to let the kids know- esspecially Blayne, because you two have that kind of bond. 

We love you Mike, we miss you and are grateful for the time we had with you. 

Forever with Love,

Eric and Randa

Couldn't resist- my kids are so cute!

A few misc pictures of mainly Brennan, but some of Chloe and me and the kids and Eric and I and Brennan.  I just LOVE the one ones of Brennan- how adorable is he?!!?  Love it!

Yet Again, It's Been A While!!!

So, it has been several weeks since I have posted anything, yet again; yes, I'm well aware I'm still not doing a good job on keeping this updated but I'm a busy gal!!  I attached a few misc pictures from the past 2 weeks- overall things are going good.  For the most part Brennan continues to improve, but still has his "bad" days a couple days a week, which happened to start yesterday morning and the day continued with some new and strange effects.  When Brennan woke up yesterday morning, his bedding was a mess, needless to say everything was stripped, sanitized and washed, and I noticed one or two little, tiny bumps by his mouth but didn't think much of it.  The rest of the morning went on fine, he went to take his nap and then I got him up to get ready for family pics and I noticed that the area with the couple small bumps was a little red but again didn't think much of it.  So, off we go to family pics and about an hour into it (so 2 hours after getting up from his nap) I went to change his shirt because, as usual, Brennan had vommited all over it.  When I took his shirt off, his entire belly, chest, arms and neck were covered with both large and small bumps and his entire upper body was bright red.  Then, literally, as I'm checking out his body (and starting to freak out) these bumps and the redness just starts covering his face and one of the bumps around his mouth turns bright, bright red and looks like it's bleeding, but it wasn't.  So, here we are, in the middle of family pics, and BB is developing some new symptom, and with BB you never know if it's something to worry about or not a big deal.  I of course instantly call his pedi, which seems to be a regular thing on the weekends lately, my poor pedi must dread when he sees the page from me, and we go over all the symptoms on the phone and he says probably hives!  Hives- how does my 5 month old get hives, in the matter of minutes his body went from normal to horrible, he was trying to scratch like crazy and wouldn't stop crying!  Well, apparently, this is yet another  fun symptom/side effect of Brennan's misc belly/digestive/ general health issues.  For the next 6 months this is another thing we have to look forward to.  With a little bit of Benadryl, Brennan seemed to start feeling a bit better but isn't looking too much better this morning.  I'll give it a couple more hours until I make the trip to the pedi, for the 5th or 6th time in the past 2 weeks for one of the 3 kids.  I'm pretty sure my kids alone pay my pedi's mortgage every month! lol   Other than that, Brennan is good and healthy and so happy, as usual!  And he really is the most adorable little boy I've ever seen in my entire life- no worries, I know you agree too! Chloe's doing great, we got a swingset for the backyard and she LOVES it!  So, now my entire backyard, except for maybe a small section, is essentially a playground between the swing set and slide combo, the additional 2 other slide/climbers, the outdoor playhouse, her sand box and her new bouncy/jumpy thing- I have no clue what it's called but it entertains her, so I like it! lol  The kids absolutely own the backyard at this point!  Chloe has also learned to ride Christian's Razor and rides up and down the sidewalk with all the kids like she's 8 instead of 2!  She's mastered both of her bikes, the Princess Big Wheels and also the bike that I actually bought for Brennan (thinking much in the future as I was pregnant at the time lol) but Chloe has taken it over- but it's a real bike, with training wheels so I am very proud of her with that!  She's grown taller, again, 40" now I believe, which is just amazing to me.  When we were trick or treating the other night and there was this 4 year old that Chloe was talking to and she was towering over him, and he wasn't small for his age, she's just a little giant!  I love the interaction between Chloe and Brennan and she really has become very loving and attached to him lately.  I'm sure that's in part due to the fact that Brennan can interact with her a little more now and so she just holds on little convos with him all the time.  My adorable little babies!!  Mr. Christian is doing great as well, grading period just ended so I'm anxiously awaiting his report card, and he's doing wonderful in karate and really does love it.  In regards to Eric and I, nothing too much new there, the one thing I can think of is that we have both decided to go back to school.  Eric has already started classes and I start in January- just what I need- more to do!!!  Hope you all are great and I will do my best to update more often!! :)

 

A Picnic in the Rain

We headed to the park Sunday afternoon for a picnic with Uncle Jason and Britt but ended up being met there with rain! We still had a good time, even though we were mostly stuck under the shelter! Chloe played in the rain and played a little on the playground and Brennan just enjoyed being somewhere new and different! Fashion Diva
My adorable princess playing in the rain

The Boys - Daddy & Brennan

Uncle Jason, Britt and Chloe taking a walk inbetween the rain showers

Mr. Brennan smiling as usual and enjoying his new surrondings

Chloe & Brennan

Just a quick pic of Chloe and Brennan from this afternoon! Brennan @ 18 weeks
Miss Chloe showing off her boots and the outfit she picked out herself

A Few Summer Pics...

(Scroll down to read the post- sorry!)My Boys - Daddy and Brennan
Chloe at Splash Park

woohoo!

Chloe

Brennan

I was recently reminded that I have been slacking on getting new pics and updates up so here a few random pics from over the summer! My computer actually crashed several weeks ago and I lost everything on the computer, including all my pics for the past 2 1/2 years! But, I am hopeful that I will find a company that can get all the pics off- keep your fingers crossed for me please!

Both Chloe and Brennan are growing like weeds, Brennan is 15 lbs 9 oz now and my little giant of a daughter is still a little giant at just under 3 1/2 feet. The girl is going to be towering over me in a matter of a couple years I'm sure! Brennan is now rolling over, eating a litte bit of baby food, laughing all the time and watches his big sister like a hawk! He still has alot of problems when eating, including when he eats baby food, and I'm pretty sure one day I might pass out in the laundry room and no one will find me because I can't seem to get caught up on the boys laundry!Chloe is as talkative as ever, she never ever stops talking, running, laughing and then for good measure throws a few fits in here and there!

Enjoy the pics! Daddy and Brennan at Splash Park in Dunedin

Mommy and Brennan

Chloe and Brennan

Brennan at dinner on Mommy's Birthday

Miss Chloe at dinner on Mommy's Birthday

Back to the Hospital...

Well, we are headed back to the hospital with Brennan for the same problem plus possibly another GI problem. Please keep Brennan in your thoughts and prayers as this is more than likely going to be another emergency surgery for him.

Thank You all and we will keep you updated as we know more.

Night #1 - Downtown Disney

We went to Downtown Disney as usual and had a great time- probably the best time we have ever had there because Chloe was able to enjoy it and had such a great time! Our happy family in front of the Lego Dragon that we always take a picture in front of
Daddy traveling with Miss Chloe

Chloe kissing Daffy Duck - she kissed Donald too!

What a great Daddy- riding the train with Chloe!

Chloe with Donald and Daffy!